Current mood:	pensive
Current music:	"Waltz #2 (XO)" by Elliott Smith

The Shape of Things
"... I don't know if I've been through anything worse, but in order to do this, I have to believe that I have." James Frey, A Million Little Pieces

As is always the case when I'm staring at this screen, I haven't written in a while. So I've decided to use this entry as a means of expressing my recent goings-on for completely selfish reasons: namely, to sort all of this shit out spatially so that I can deal with it and move the fuck on with my life. So, let's see.

School sucks. I wish it didn't, but it does. My classes aren't especially thrilling, and my other problems (finances, work, health, and general malaise) keep me in a state scattered enough that I often struggle to give any semblance of a shit about, like, what Tommy Aquinas thinks about Eternal Law -- mostly, in that particular instance, because I don't know whether or not I believe in God these days and as such justifying everything with "omg bc its gawdz will tehe yay!!!!!!!11" doesn't really whet my metaphysical appetite. But I'm digressing like a fiend here; point is: I've hit that place in the semester where I just want it to be over, and I need to put my head down, suck it up, and do everything necessary to come out of these exhausting academic endeavors with my chin up and my grades at a somewhat respectable level (no thanks to my American Lit. professor, a monotone but reasonably intelligent man who subjects me on a regular basis to things I read in high school and/or Puritan drivel).

Um. What else? Oh, right: I have a hernia and need surgery. In very complex medical jargon, my intestines are bulging out of my stomach -- down by my groin. So I need somebody to cut into me, tuck them back in, and sew me up. Goodie. When first diagnosing my affliction (in the most stereotypically awkward moment of my life, one where I literally needed to turn my head and cough, if you know what I mean) my doctor asked, "Gee, did you lift anything strenuous?" I replied, "Do I look like I've lifted anything strenuous in my entire life?!" Heh.

In other news: my boss threatened to fire me today from my illustrious, high-paying workstudy job at the University Writing Center. Why? Because the office wasn't "tidy enough" yesterday morning, and also I forgot to lock the door of an obscure room that we almost never use, much less leave open in the first place. Now, I'm not the greatest employee in the world. I slack sometimes, like most people, but I usually comply with the asinine amount of bureaucratic Nonsense I'm required to do. If I lose this mockery of a job, I'd like to be fired because of my failure as a writing consultant rather than a bunch of superfluous horseshit.

But there's a Silver Lining here. I'm reading a great book at the moment (see above), enjoying college football a lot (save the last fucking second of that rotten ripoff in South Bend a few weeks back), and getting to the point where even I'm sick of hearing myself whine about Everything. "The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of other things...."